As a parent or loved one, it can be hard to know how to support a teen or adolescent who is experiencing panic attacks. A panic attack is a sudden burst of intense fear that can prompt physical symptoms and discomfort.
What does a panic attack feel like?
When someone has a panic attack, they might experience a rapid heartbeat, dizziness, shortness of breath, along with other symptoms. This sometimes can lead them to feel like they're having a heart attack, going crazy, or about to faint. An important thing for people experiencing panic attacks to remember is that they are safe. A panic attack is not dangerous, and will not last forever.
How long does a panic attack last?
A panic attack can last anywhere from 5-30 minutes, with 10 minutes being the peak of intensity. A panic attack is your body’s response to stress that can be triggered. However, sometimes a teen may truly not know why they are experiencing panic attacks or where they came from. They just know that they are there.
How can you support a teenager having a panic attack?
Here are some ways that you can help support a loved one through the intensity of these feelings:
Notice your own emotions.
It can feel nerve-wracking seeing your child navigate a panic attack, and it can trigger our own anxiety response. One of the most influential things that we can do at the moment is model a calm response. At times, teens are looking to you or those around them to monitor their reactions. In the moment or after a panic attack, teens can feel a sense of shame, self-judgment, or anxiety in addition to the fear they experience. Providing a calm quiet voice, holding their hand, giving a hug, or sitting beside them as they navigate their own emotions can provide a gentle support that is needed in the moment.
Provide support through encouragement and grounding statements.
A grounding statement is a statement that can bring us back to the present moment and remind us that we are safe. During a panic attack, your teen's brain is running a million miles per minute thinking through the “what ifs,” their fear of their body responses, and worries for their safety. A parent can have an influential role in helping guide the teen back to feeling a sense of safety in the present moment. Sharing statements such as “I am right here with you,” “You are safe,” or “I know it is hard, but this feeling will pass,” can encourage you while navigating something difficult.
Help your teen remember their coping skills
When we are in the midst of panic, sometimes we can forget the coping skills that we have practiced prior. One thing that can be helpful is writing down a list of coping skills as a note on our phone or physically writing it on a sticky note that we can reference at the moment if we can. It would be most helpful to encourage the teen to be a part of creating the list for themselves as a plan. This is a list that you both can reference at the moment to practice together.
For example, one coping skill that can be helpful to do together is to go through the mindfulness exercise: 5-4-3-2-1
What are 5 things you can see?
What are 4 things you can feel?
What are 3 things that you can hear?
What are 2 things you can smell?
What is 1 thing you can taste?
Provide space for your teen to talk if they are ready.
Let your teen know that you are there for them. Approach the conversation with a calm and relaxed demeanor, and work to create an environment where the teen feels they can share their thoughts without worry of judgment or criticism. At this moment, you may feel an urge to provide solutions, so try to practice active listening by providing verbal affirmation and reflecting on what you hear to show your understanding. Most importantly, be patient with your teen. If they share that they are not ready to talk, give them space and try not to push. This shows that you care and respect their need to process, and this can build trust and show that you value their feelings. Just let them know that you are there for them when they are ready to open up.
Find some way to decompress afterward and practice self-care
This can be finding a way to laugh together, going on a walk outside, cooking dinner together, asking your teen to teach you how to play their favorite game, watching a show or movie, etc. Give your teen space to feel like themselves again. Panic Attacks are physically and mentally exhausting. This is just a small part of their experience and not who they are.
If someone that you love is experiencing panic attacks, it's important to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide a safe space to collaborate with your loved one using evidenced-based practices to build skills to navigate life stressors.